Childhood stress ...

 Stress is an inevitable part of life, and childhood is no exception. Everyday stressors may include the first day of school, falling down and getting hurt, catching a bad cold, or having to give a class presentation. When stress comes in manageable doses, and there are loving adults to help ease and buffer the pain, stress can help children grow and develop into stronger, more resilient human beings. But when the stress response is prolonged, and there are no loving caretakers to turn to, children can develop toxic stress.

Childhood stress can occur anytime a child is required to adapt to something new. This could be a positive change, such as joining a new sports team or a difficult experience like a parental divorce. The stress response, or “fight or flight,” results in a number of physiological effects, including an increased heart rate, breathing, blood pressure, and overall oxygen use. In most cases, these physiological effects are temporary with the body returning to baseline once the stressor is removed. But when children get stuck in the “fight or flight” feeling, it can lead to toxic stress.

Experts distinguish among three types of stress responses: positive, tolerable, and toxic. Importantly, these describe how the body responds to stress, not the severity level of the event itself. Toxic stress can occur after severe and prolonged adversity — such as abuse, chronic neglect, parental substance use disorder or mental illness, or severe poverty — without the loving support of an adult. This type of prolonged stress exposure disrupts a child’s brain development and increases the risk for stress-related disease and long-term cognitive impairment.

According to 2014 research, when a child has a loving, supportive relationship with an adult, it “buffers” the potentially toxic effects of stress. When we experience love and care, our bodies release a hormone called oxytocin. This important chemical helps produce feelings of love, attachment, trust, and safety. Stress that builds up without relief can start to affect how you interact with your children and how they feel. You might snap at your kids or spend less time with them. Ongoing stress can wipe out the patience and energy it takes to be a nurturing parent. Stress also makes it easier to create unhealthy family habits like eating fast food because you don’t have the energy to cook. Kids learn how to handle stress by watching their parents. When you lean on food or screens as ways to relax you’re communicating to your child that those are the best ways to relax. 

So it’s important for parents to model how to find healthy ways to deal with stressful times.